As we live in a world where there are lots of distractions, be that from modern technology or from people constantly telling us what to do, we often forget that as humans, we yearn to be noticed and heard too. Just as how important it is for us to listen to others, we also shouldn’t forget the value of listening to ourselves first.
Without fully understanding who we are and what we’d want to become, how can we even help others to feel like they’re safe and heard? Without listening to what our inner self has to say first, how can we even expect ourselves to hear voices of this world?
Lending your ears, your heart, and your soul as you listen to people will impact that person’s life forever. Nevertheless, remember that you also have a soul that’s asking to be cared for.
Author and speaker Jane Adshead Grant has more than 30 years’ experience as an HR practitioner and a professionally trained and accredited executive coach and facilitator within Professional and Financial Services. Jane works with senior executives to create greater self-awareness, lead more effectively, enhance communication and influencing skills and create a culture where stakeholder value is created for everyone.
Jane recently published the book the Listening Coach, a practical pocket guide to help you coach yourself through the elements of listening that are critical in life, in business and in your community. She aims to inspire people to think for oneself in order to unlock one’s potential from within. Jane provides generative attention and listening which then results in clients achieving clarity, confidence, and new ways of moving forward towards an environment of growth and fulfillment.
In this episode, Jane talks about the levels of listening as she discusses why self listening is a must before actually being able to listen to others well. Jane also reminds people how important mindset is as we go on with our listening journey.
“In order for us to listen well to another, we need to listen first to ourselves, because when we listen to ourselves and connect with who we are, we begin to develop a sense of stability, and it’s in that stability that others can seek refuge in us.” – Jane Adshead Grant
Listen IN Notes:
01:47 – On starting to notice the power of listening: Growing in an environment where listening was absent influenced her work in listening.
06:50 – Raquel shares a similar experience. Jane notes the value of looking for the good in others and acknowledging them as a human being.
09:47 – Where listening begins: Self listening involves being present with oneself and understanding more about who we are as a human being
12:58 – Connecting with people through regular listening sessions allows Jane to create a safe environment where people are heard and nurtured, which benefits both Jane and the others.
16:03 – Jane’s practice of taking the time and space to connect deeply with oneself, and why it is an act that could be difficult for some
20:37 – The five levels of listening: listening to self, pretend listening, factual listening, empathetic listening, generative listening
26:14 – Teaching how to listen in order to avoid pretend listening: Listening is an active skill. It requires giving attention, not simply paying attention.
29:50 – Play rather than Obey: Making assumptions in difficult times, especially when there’s the feeling of being stuck.
39:41 – Incisive questions are questions that ignite the mind to play.
44:28 – Mindset of Listening: Applying the growth mindset in listening. Asking, “What is the mindset in which I’m about to listen?”
48:33 – Including the fun in listening: Story of a family who had a lot of fun with the help of Jane’s The Listening Deck
51:57 – The Listening Coach: Jane shares more about her book The Listening Coach, a practical pocket guide. It will help you coach yourself through the elements of listening that are critical in life, in business and in your community. It is easy to read and digest, with practical ideas so you can convert its insights into deeper ways of listening. Peppered with conversations and real-world case studies, you will discover the transformational impact of deep and generative listening.
“How we behave – the words we use in relationships – can really lift one up or it can pull us apart.” – Jane Adshead Grant
“For me, self listening is where listening begins, because in order to listen well to another, we have to be able to listen to ourselves well.” – Jane Adshead Grant
“It takes time to quieten our mind, free from the things that we think we need to get going on and be doing. But simply be present with ourselves in that moment and connect down deep with who we are and who we’re being.” – Jane Adshead Grant
“The key thing is to notice, to notice which level of listening am I in? What level of listening will really serve the person I’m with just now to the very best?” – Jane Adshead Grant
“Listening is an active skill. It requires giving attention, not simply paying attention.” – Jane Adshead Grant
“If we apply the growth mindset [to ourselves], I believe we can all deepen and develop our listening skills to a deeper level.” – Jane Adshead Grant
“The mindset of listening is as critical as the skills of us developing our capacity to listen well with intention.” – Jane Adshead Grant
- The Listening Coach: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Listening-Coach-yourself-listening-communities/dp/B09MYYW9W4/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8
- The Listening Deck: https://thelisteningcoach.co.uk/thelisteningdeck/
- Time to Think: https://janeadsheadgrant.com/time-to-think/
- Time to Think book: https://www.amazon.com/Time-Think-Listening-Ignite-Human/dp/0706377451
- Incisive Questions by Nancy Kline: https://www.timetothink.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/incisive-questions.pdf
Connect with Jane Adshead Grant:
- Website: https://janeadsheadgrant.com/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janeadsheadgrant/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jane.adsheadgrant
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/janeadsheadgrant1
Connect with Raquel Ark: